Shikha, me samajh nahi pa rha ki me ap par gussa karu....ya apko maaf ka
du...
I am confused about you now. Kabhi kabhi aapki masumiyat dekh kar lagta hai
ki jaane do. if i will do the samething as you did..phir to mujhme aur aap me
koi fark hi nahi raha...Ki jab tak matlab tha to sab acchha jab koi matlab
nahi tab sab kuch aaise chhod do ki ab us insaan ke khushi aur gum se koi
matlab nahi....then why should i respect you?
Phir lagta hai ap itni bhi masoom nahi ki ap ko pata hi nahi chala....ki
hum kaha tak involve hue hai....
Pyaar karna koi bacchho ka khel nahi....jab tak mann kiya khela aur jab
mann bhar gaya to jaane do.........ohh..sorry. apne to pyaar kabhi kiya hi
nhi......this is the second thing which is paining me a lot. Were you making
fool of me ?
First pain was that you are convinced by your family in few days....But this
is because that there were no love from your side....Thats why...
Kyoki me jitna apko yaad karta hu utna hi mujhe dard hota hai......one more
thing....apne decision ko apni family ki aad me mat chupao.
Humari aajkal ki generation aise hi ki agar hume kuch karna hai to hum
karte hai....and you are convinced by your family because you wanted to
convince yourself somewhere.
Me chah kar bhi apko bhool nahi pa rha.....I know time is a very good
medicine.....It lets you forget every pain.... But whenever I will recall
you in my future ....you will not come in my mind with some good
memory....that will make me ashamed ......why did I fall in love with a
girl who does not know about herself. And even she does not understand the
feeling of love.
I will not able to make myself positive about you after trying a lot. But
I Know ...apko isse koi bhi fark nahi padta...aur na padega future me.....
you will be busy in your life with some new emotional fools. But somewhere definitely
it will make you little unhappy that you broke someone heart.
Trust and love ..aise hote hai ki aap inke sath chaho to zindagi ji sakte
ho....aur chaho to zindagi tod bhi sakte ho......
I never thought that you will also become a Delhi girl who does not
have any feeling for others. They just enjoy the company of others....and
when it comes to make a decision....it is worthless for them.
Ap baate to bahut badi badi karti hai.....but jab karne ki baari aati hai
to ap sabse pahle muh chhupati hai....And the same attitude you showed in
office........Sometimes you behave like this you are stealing something
,when you used to talk your manager too.....
You never made any decision in your life till now......and you will not
make any in future as well ,there are four people who are running your
life.....and in future you will run by other persons..
What do you want to become ? .... A machine who does not know
anything....other peoples are driving it.
If you will follow the same attitude ,you will never make any decision and
you will not feel proud on yourself. And now this is very difficult to
change......I know everything can be change.
But it depends on the person....who has attitude to fight after loosing a
games 100 times. Can win the game too one day....But a person who will feel
tire after 1 or 2 game will never ever win a game.
I never cheated anyone till now and also will not cheat anyone in
future...Because I know what I am.... But you will not be true in your
coming life too.
Because I know you will never tell the truth to anyone about your past. And
even if you will tell you will not make them convince that what r u saying
is right ....
Also I came to know recently....that you had wasted your one year...How could
you say that.....then I thought little bit and realized that you can say
it.....because you really mean it. WASTE.
If you were in love with me then definitely you did not say that. What can
i say....I had hundreds of example which shows your selfishness. And Now as
well, my statement is correct which i told you when we met last time in
Shipra , when you were leaving that I tried many times to keep our relation alive but if anytime I would
become little disappointed then, will you try to keep the relation alive
?....at that time you smiled and say....YES. :)
And Now I am finding the meaning of that..... YES. What does actually mean
? Is it positive or negative....
I remember one more moment.....when I asked you ,will you go onsite for
long term alone ? At that time you were also confused ,what would I say to
Dhirendra ? You gave me diplomatic answer...but I was expecting you to say
NO....May be in future we can discuss on it. but at that i was expecting
No.....without thinking anything. But you broke my heart.
One more thing I did not know which you tell me.....I thought that I was
very emotional toward any close relation whether it is friend, parent and
you. But you told me that I am EMOTIONAL FOOOOL....Good....you are right
that's why I will not forget you in future as well. Because that is my
nature and it will not change very easily too like yours.
Main apko apki kamiya ginaane ke liye nahi kah rha ye sab....But really I
never expected this kind of behavior from you....
I dont know ki main kab tak apki respect kar pauga.......shayad tab tak jab
tak mera pyaar apke dhoke se jyada hoga......aur uske baad .............
You never tried to talk .....you only came to me just to delete your
memory....after that u never tried( I know u asked twice for tea. But that
was not from your heart, you were doing your job.Ab ye mat kahna ki main
galat samajh rha hu....because after that you sent me a email "ab mujhse
future me mat kahna ki me cheeze normal karne ki koshish nahi
karti"....these lines show that u were just doing your job.). Ab me apse
kyo ye sab kah rha hu.....jiska apko koi matlab nahi. But mujhe
hai.....maine kabhi apni life me koi aisa kaam nahi kiya ki mere peeche koi
bhi meri burai kare......I did not like it. Aur phir mere liye ye bahut
muskil hai ki aap mere peeche mujhe kuch galat samjhe.....maine kabhi bhi
aap par koi doubt nahi kiya.....maine aapse pyaar kiya but apne kya kiya ye
apko aur mujhe dono ko pta hai......
Practical hone ki baat karti hai aap....main bhi kum practical nahi.isiliye
apke shaadi na karne ka decision, phir normal baat na karna....everything I
accepted. But I will not accept your lie. I will not accept your words "ki
hum dusro ke liye bahut kuch kahte hai but jab baat apne par aati hai tab
hum kuch aur hi hote hai...."
This is not my nature...I am not like u.
And one more thing that i though few days back.....you said NO to me on 10
Sept. but from when u were thinking to say these things to me. I dont think
u decided this in just one day(but aap kar bhi sakti ho)...i think this was
started somewhere between 15-20 August. uske baad aap sab ne milke mera
acchha bewkoof banaya....sabse jyada apne....u decided to leave me...and u
keep saying to me that when will u talk to my family....
Currently what are you doing in office.....you changed so much....you leave
office early most of the time...
when you were with me, you felt little uncomfortable to leave the lunch table
early....but now you come and leave alone after having your lunch . you don't
bother what other think about you. you just wanted to make yourself
comfortable. Now I am force to think your jiju's statement....that you are very
selfish. you used relations for your benefit. When you need them you are very
sweet but when you don't...you don't bother for them...
I don't know what I have written till now and for whom because who should know about all this ,will never know about it ? I know one thing that I am not feeling good....I am feeling like badly cheated by someone ,someone very close to me ................
REST IS A HISTORY NOW....
